Advice for dating single moms
As a child of a divorce, I'd always sworn that I'd never put my kids through that -- yet as it turned out, living paycheck to paycheck and trying to do our own growing up while raising a family proved to be too great a strain on our marriage: It bent, cracked, and finally broke.
I flew through the first couple of months after our separation in an adrenaline-powered blur.
But what about when your ex doesn't show up for visits or blows off child-support payments and actually makes your kids' life miserable?
"It's good to acknowledge your child's feelings as long as you don't add anger to your empathy," says Neuman.
Then I made a conscious effort to invite friends over for dinner, ask a neighbor to help me move my couch, and chat with the other moms at drop-off.
Slowly, my sense that I had a contagious disease lifted, and I found myself expanding my definition of what makes a family.
If we were going to ask anyone about dating in the church, it would be Bishop Marvin Sapp.
We were angry at each other, and, let's face it, looking for ways to hurt each other.But no matter how right I felt I was, deep down in my heart I knew: Being in constant fight mode was horrible for my kids, and it was making me even more miserable."You have an obligation to your kids to stay friendly -- or at least civil -- with your former spouse," says Neuman. So, I tried my hardest and used the greatest gift to divorced parents everywhere: e-mail.Forget organized closets, spotless bathrooms, and ironing.Try to say yes to serving nutritious family dinners, scheduling regular bedtimes, and being prompt for pickups and drop-offs.